Monday, March 15, 2010

The Arch Enemy of Gay Marriage

There is a relatively new term that young people use. It’s called being a hater. Maggie Gallagher is the example that comes to the forefront when I think of this phrase. Perhaps it is because Maggie Gallagher herself has carved out this perception of her.

I’ll give some background on Ms. Gallagher. I should say Mrs. Srivastav, Since that is her married name. Although Mrs. Srivastav, in her stance to become known as “The Protector of marriage” doesn’t use her married name. Strange isn’t it? That a woman that speaks to the World about the wonders of marriage should use her maiden name. Stranger still, is the fact that although Mrs. Srivastav, one of the most well known opponents of gay marriage and gay rights, would want you to believe that gays want to destroy marriage. Maggie Gallagher (sorry if I don’t use her married name, since she doesn’t) thinks that gay’s would destroy marriage. Although she had a child out of wedlock....and has since gone on to have more offspring after, yelling to the high heavens “Gays will destroy the traditional form of marriage”. This while she was on a marriage day outing, with her husband no where in sight. It seems he is never in sight. Sorry, but I’m from the old school. The same age as she. The difference is that I was taught to love and respect others, even if they are “different”. I believe no one can destroy a marriage, except those in it. Perhaps it was different under the circumstances where she came from.

Ms. Gallagher (I’ll call her that for now) has tried at every turn to thwart the rights of gays. The same rights she and her husband enjoy. The same rights all heterosexuals enjoy. 1138 federal rights that I and my partner cannot enjoy. It doesn’t matter that we’ve been together almost as long as Mr. And Mrs. Srivastav. Among those are Survivorship when one dies, hospital visitations, real estate rights, health insurance, and burial rights. In some states, those that are gay such as myself can go through tons of paperwork and get all of the documents we need. We can also then have the option of “fighting” to enforce those documents. Why should we? Mrs Srivastav, sorry... Gallagher, is a strong opponent of those rights. Under the cry of “ gay’s will destroy marriage”. Gays will no more destroy marriage than Ms. Gallagher’s (that’s politically correct) having a child out of wedlock did. Gay’s are supposed to be immoral. I’ve never had a child in or out of wedlock. I’ve never even had sex with anyone who was married. I raised six nephews and nieces because their parents, my siblings were drug addicted. It didn’t matter that I was the youngest of eight. So am I immoral? I don’t think so. I might be..to some degree. I think most of us are. Who is moral all of the time? According to Maggie Gallagher however, gays are the scourge of the earth. The end of marriage is, not and cannot be based on gays loving each other. We have been here longer than man will recognize. Just call us the gay “pagans” as that is what most would want the World to think. Against Heaven and Earth, Morality and truth. Not so.

I’m am not against the institution of marriage. The truth is that marriage like anything in life, is up to the couple willing to embark on it. To love each other and make it work. I can’t and wouldn’t, force all gays to marry. No more than anyone would ask that everyone they know be married. Or be single. Some gays will want to get married, others will not. I understand that. I even applaud that, because marriage is a strong commitment. Not for everyone. It is a commitment I took over a decade ago even though I couldn’t legally marry the man I love. It was, and remains a commitment none the less. One that I will finally be able to realize this June 23rd. What will be the 14th anniversary of when we met. Also the day that would mark the 64th anniversary of my parents....if they were alive. The day we plan on getting married. New York State will recognize our marriage. Even if the Federal Government will not...yet.

I don’t want to destroy marriage. I don’t want to end humanity. I want to live my life, with someone I’ve loved with all my heart for nearly 14 years. Yes, it hasn’t been perfect, but it’s been as perfect as I’ve seen, among gays or straights. I’m thankful for that. We’ve worked and been through a lot of issues, the same as any couple. I don’t think there is one committed couple that hasn’t. Gay or Straight.

Someday, should I live long enough, I’m sure I’ll look back at everything my partner and I have been through and say “Did we really go through all we did, just to show that we love like everyone else?”. That day can’t come soon enough.

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