Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The Top Twenty Dumbest Ways To Fight Marriage Equality

1). Hide your hatred for the LGBT community by making it clear that you do not hate gays because you fight tooth and nail against LGBT rights.

  2). Always start off by saying “ We are only fighting for our religious rights”. This will ensure to make it seem like YOU are in the right.

 3). Take as many fake photos as you can of heterosexual couples ( preferably using children). These can be found in many online sites (as is often done by The National Organization for Marriage). You can later state that the images are original!

 4). Use the “Do as I say, not as I do” concept. It doesn’t matter how many divorces you’ve had, children you’ve had out of wedlock, or if you’re never seen anywhere with your “loving spouse”.

5). Always disassociate yourself (at least in public) from those that have been listed as hate groups. You must however, remember to use these contacts and brainstorm with them. Hate does well when hidden effectively.

 6). Beg anyone and everyone who will listen to you, online and off about how marriage has NOT changed in thousands of years. Don’t ever bring up biblical passages to multiple wives, widows marrying their brother in law, or marriages bartered for cows, goats or money.

 7). Blame gays and lesbians for the divorce rate. People need to have a basis of so called truth as an “ you have a point there” reason to come to your way of thinking.

 8). Start your own non profit and get as much funding as you can, so that you can later hide behind that non profit status (in the even you’re later asked to disclose information),

9). When being interviewed, always be polite (even if you’re being attacked) so that you are not seen as aggressive or angry against the many accomplishments of marriage equality. This of course includes any type of rights for the LGBT, including discrimination in jobs and housing.

10). Boycott any individual, corporation or political party that is trying to blatantly provide the rights that ONLY heterosexuals should be entitled to under the constitution.

 11). When you are losing the battle against Marriage Equality, infiltrate those countries like Uganda, and those especially in the middle east where you feel their religious beliefs can make them your ally. This works well with the countries that are anti United States.

 12). If you have access to a blog, or know someone who does, post as many reports (it doesn’t matter if they are false, the majority will not do research) and Op-Eds as you can. If it’s in writing more people will take it as truth.

13). Always emphasize the fact that you have TONS of gay friends, family and coworkers. Just because you don’t want them to have the same rights as yourself, does not make you a bigot. You are just maintaining the status quo for the sake of society.

 14). Blame all loses at the ballot box by unequivocally reiterating that the LGBT community out funded you. This will give you an opportunity to beg for more money towards your hate cause.

 15). Enlist the time proven tactic of “ our forefathers, who held marriage sacred didn’t mean for gays and lesbians to have any rights.”. This will work even if it is now known that Thomas Jefferson fathered slave children with Sally Hemings.

16). Tell everyone that children with TWO LOVING PARENTS in a home, cannot possibly do as well as those that have both a father and a mother. It doesn’t matter how much love and happiness the child has felt, making him or her feel wanted, special and above all else loved.

 17) Equate Marriage Equality at every conversation you can with bestiality and or child abuse and child pornography. Everyone knows that anything criminal must and can only be a result of non heterosexual attraction.

18). Try to always paint a worse case scenario such as “ LGBT rights will only lead to polygamy and marriage to animals or worse yet...a wheel of cheese.

19). Never ever be swayed by a rational argument, regardless if it is a result of a federal judge’s ruling. I mean ESPECIALLY if it is a federal judge. These must be painted as “activist judges” and wholly corrupt and immoral.

 20) Shout from the rooftops how much YOUR views and rights are being DISCRIMINATED AGAINST and how YOU are suffering because two loving, committed, adults who would give their lives for each other, want the same rights as anyone else. THE SAME RIGHTS WE HAVE.

 I think I’ve covered most of the bases most hate groups use to discriminate against those such as myself who are fighting for the over 1000 federal rights to gays and lesbians under “ The Defense of Marriage Act” also known as DOMA. The United States will be deciding which of several cases to take up regarding DOMA on November 30th. 2012. This is only a few short days away. The time for full equality is very near for America, as witnessed by the four recent victories in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota and Washington earlier this month. We must do what we can, wherever we can. My thanks to all , gay and straight, who see that the right of two consenting adults to love each other is a right that cannot and should not be denied by our government. Federal or otherwise.


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